Kavemen Komplications

Kavemen Komplications

“My parents are yelling at me a lot and it seems like everyday it keeps getting worse. It almost seems like they are yelling at me just to yell sometimes. It doesn't make anything better because at school I feel like crap because of people and I can’t tell my parents anything because they are too busy yelling at me. One time I told my stepmom about some drama that was happening and didn’t leave out any detail that would make me look like the better person here and she yelled at me and called me “the school b****”. Which I guess I deserved. Last night it wasn't even two minutes after I got through the door that I got yelled at for having an attitude. I legit didn't even say anything to them either. I hate coming home. They don't know what my deal is because I can't tell them without getting yelled at so they put me into therapy and it helps but I feel like I'm crazy because now I need professional help for my problems.”

For starters, you aren’t crazy. Many people, especially teenagers, have to see a counselor, therapist, or some type of mental health doctor. In today’s society it sure is difficult to be a teenager and sometimes you do need someone to talk to because parents don’t understand, friends don’t get it, or you just feel better talking to a professional doctor. Don’t be ashamed of asking for help because you won’t regret it in the long run.

As for your parents yelling at you, maybe try to talk to them a time when everyone seems to be in a good mood and then try to talk to them about how you feel and how you would like to be treated better. Be super respectful when trying to bring up the conversation so they don’t escalate to yelling and they might actually hear what you’re saying and act on it. If you bring up the topic and have a nice conversation about it then maybe they will be more willing to change things around the home.

If all else fails, talk to your parents about family counseling. It can help a lot talking to a professional with the whole family in the room. This can be a safe place for change and the help from the counselor will work because they will give you guys healthy tips and tricks to getting along.

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I'm so lost about college applications, and what to write my college essay about, and even if I do get accepted, how do I leave the teeny town I've been in my entire life?

  • Claire

Read more: College and Homesickness

“This boy told me that he likes me and then is kinda starting to avoid me. I asked one of his friends what the deal was and he said that he likes me but only wants to be friends. Then I asked the boy who liked me what the deal was and he said that he likes me a lot but doesn't want hurt me. I told him that if he actually like me than he shouldn't worry about hurting me and all he said was “okay.” I’m really confused on if he actually likes me or not.”

To me it sounds like he had a crush but not enough to act on it by getting into a relationship. He says he likes you but he also doesn’t want to hurt you because he doesn’t want to have a relationship at the moment. Maybe take it slow and stay friends for a while longer and just talk to him the same as you always have as friends and keep things as normal as they were before. He isn’t ready for a relationship because he said he likes you but doesn't want to date yet which is okay. Just give it some time.

If he takes too long to start showing interest in you then I would move on. Just remember you are perfect the way you are and you do not need a boy to be happy. You have your friends, family, and yourself and that is enough. Boys are temporary so don’t get to upset about it or spend all your time dwelling on it. Hopefully things work out between you two but if he decides to remain just friends then that is okay, sometimes it is better to be friends than not have him in your life at all.

Hope this helps!

Anonymous Annie

If you have your own problem in your life you could use some advice on, click here to submit it and we will write back to you. Remember, it is all anonymous!

“Well, last March something happened between my dad and his wife, at the time I was wearing makeup and one day my stepmom noticed that her mascara was missing. She asked my dad about it and he told her that I was not stealing her makeup and she became immensely upset because he sided with me over her and they got into days worth of fights. One day I came home from school and i saw that she was throwing all of his clothes outside of the window and I eventually realized she was drunk. Over time he came home and they got in a huge fight and she smashed a painting over his head causing him to bleed from the head. Over time the cops came over while they were just screaming and I had  to go my moms house and they got divorced, but a while ago he announced they got back together and now i'm mad at him and idk if i should forgive him”.

Well this was a pretty big fight but if I was you I would forgive him because this fight has only happened once, and they are adults so they should be able to get their stuff together. If they believe that they can quit fighting and actually make things work then let them try it out again. It’s not like the fight started because of you because you didn’t steal the mascara. It was very petty of her to get in a physical fight with him, but if she believes that things will work out, maybe they will.

 

Lately, I have felt like a burden to my family. Things have been really stressful and even if they don’t say it, I know they find me to be a disappointment. There’s just a lot going on and I'm not sure what to do. I just feel like I won’t ever catch up to who I’m supposed to be. I don’t have my license, my parents feel ashamed, I’m not great at school. I just don’t know. Should I just give up who I am and live by their standards? What’s your advice?

-  Pumpkin



Hey there!

I’m going to have to answer your ask with a solid, resounding no.

I can assure you that you are not in any way a burden to your family. So what you don’t have your license. You don’t need a license to feel accomplished or anything like that, seriously. I know a 29 year old who is just getting his license now. In fact, according to Tim Henderson, an author from PBS, nearly 71.5% of teenagers in 2015 didn’t get their license. You aren’t behind. I promise.  

“I don’t think I will ever catch up to what I’m supposed to be.” So tell me, what exactly are you supposed to be? You are young. Live your life. Don’t limit yourself to someone you are “supposed” to be and keep an openmind. Only then, will you become who you’re 'supposed' to be.

My point is you aren’t supposed to be anyone, besides the person you are currently. Live in the now, focus on what you want and need to do right now, and you will see that who you are supposed to be isn’t influenced by small things such as getting amazing grades or getting a license. They are irrelevant. You are successful because you choose to be successful and putting yourself into the ground, is not the way to do that.

Your family is blood. They will be with you through everything. You’re still young. Your parents understand that. They do what they do because they care.. It’s all because they care. Now, you say you are a burden and your family is ashamed. But are those facts really true? Family sticks with you through everything,, they are there. They are not ashamed of you, and I can assure you that you are not a burden.

I sit behind my screen, and I ask you, a complete stranger, to not change who you are.. I am a stranger, and I care… Your family cares. You are so young, my friend, don’t miss out on your opportunities.. So take care, love always, dream big, and most importantly, keep carrying on because what is life, but one grand adventure.


Sincerely,

Evangelina Amity


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